To My Feathered Soul,
Here is what I want to say……..
I don’t think I am a bad person, but I am not happy with myself.
I indulge in chocolates often, but I am not happy with myself.
There is sunshine, spring flowers and chirpy birds in my courtyard, but I am not happy with myself.
Traveling through the chaotic shores of life, there is this constant noise muddling in me. I am unnecessarily immersed in aimless thoughts which pay me nowhere. I hop in and hop out almost everywhere without getting a jack! My endless explorations in the woods, in the chores or in my existence serves me to dawdle all the time. All the time!
Does this reflect that I am not in sync with the environment I am set into ?
My life palette is filled with different hues; rewarding and challenging in its own way. But I don’t know what to do with these blooms. Do I need a different shade to glorify my life canvas? Do I need a different sequence of sprouting colours to intensify my life frameworks? Or do I need to simply sway to the spread of different tones and timbres of my being?
I am somewhere not able to enjoy my life moments. Things are fine at my end, no issues, no hitches, no qualms about anything. But I am lost somewhere. I am perplexed by the kind of opinions, options and odds I face everyday. I need open ground to unwind my contradictory musings which I hit everytime. I need to better pull up my sleeves and be ready to smack the obstacles.
Sounds easy right!?!
But before that I need to genuinely evaluate what my obstacles are? Where do they come from? How are they controlling me? Are they real? Virtual? Superficial? Or nothing, just floating down the river without any direction, aim and orientation.
Or may be somewhere, without my consent, I am subconsciously looking for people’s approval, acceptance and appreciation of my daily deeds. Really? Oh Lord, I am so confused!
Oh my dear soul, please help. Give me a way. Make me understand the real factors lying beneath my unsolved queries. Let me know where I am stuck!
Waiting in anticipation.
A Wandering Mind