A letter to my Soul

To My Feathered Soul,

Here is what I want to say……..

I don’t think I am a bad person, but I am not happy with myself.

I indulge in chocolates often, but I am not happy with myself.

There is sunshine, spring flowers and chirpy birds in my courtyard, but I am not happy with myself.

Why ?

Traveling through the chaotic shores of life, there is this constant noise muddling in me. I am unnecessarily immersed in aimless thoughts which pay me nowhere. I hop in and hop out almost everywhere without getting a jack! My endless explorations in the woods, in the chores or in my existence serves me to dawdle all the time. All the time!

Does this reflect that I am not in sync with the environment I am set into ?

My life palette is filled with different hues; rewarding and challenging in its own way. But I don’t know what to do with these blooms. Do I need a different shade to glorify my life canvas? Do I need a different sequence of sprouting colours to intensify my life frameworks? Or do I need to simply sway to the spread of different tones and timbres of my being?

I am somewhere not able to enjoy my life moments. Things are fine at my end, no issues, no hitches, no qualms about anything. But I am lost somewhere. I am perplexed by the kind of opinions, options and odds I face everyday. I need open ground to unwind my contradictory musings which I hit everytime. I need to better pull up my sleeves and be ready to smack the obstacles.

Sounds easy right!?!

But before that I need to genuinely evaluate what my obstacles are? Where do they come from? How are they controlling me? Are they real? Virtual? Superficial? Or nothing, just floating down the river without any direction, aim and orientation.

Or may be somewhere, without my consent, I am subconsciously looking for people’s approval, acceptance and appreciation of my daily deeds. Really? Oh Lord, I am so confused!

Oh my dear soul, please help. Give me a way. Make me understand the real factors lying beneath my unsolved queries. Let me know where I am stuck!

Waiting in anticipation.

Yours truly

A Wandering Mind

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Pure Delights in your Palette!

What do you want in 2018? This was the simplest question asked on a social group on Facebook in January. I find January the most exciting month of the year as many of us are high on new starts, new energy, practical and unrealistic resolutions, and yes End of Sale too! Entwined in this cheery fervour, I read a wide array of responses to this question. There were varied replies like –

  • Ah! What about a holiday in Bahamas?
  • Ooohh! That lovely MK Bag I was yearning for last few weeks!
  • A romantic date with my boyfriend at Eiffel Tower. Wow!
  • My kids to be super achievers
  • Aladdin Genie! What say! End to all problems
  • Ticket to Australia or Maldives
  • A Magic Wand
  • A Brand New IPhone
  • A new car and yes a driving license

Well, apart from these, there were conventional responses like health, happiness, love, laughter, good vibes etc etc etc.

Yes, every wish, fantasy and desire was Bang On to add a dash of vibrant hues in our lives. Come On, who wouldn’t love to get a new car, phone or bag? Who would say no to a holiday? Who wouldn’t fancy a genie? The responses kept me thinking what I actually want in 2018. I was thinking of ‘A Dream Job’, ‘A fine body figure’, ‘A Happy House’ and obviously perfect health and love to all my dear and near ones.

While I was about to respond, another disparate thought fluttered in my mind. As I was thinking of big ambitions, goals, aspirations or whatever we call, I was comprehending on simple delights which we experience quite frequently but don’t realise how easily they add pleasant layers to our lives. Yes, as our big ambitions are definitely wished, required and hoped to add new dimensions and glam up our world, how about those mini dose of happy pockets we experience? They are equally influential and meaningful to pep up our routine, add a little imaginations and leave deep smiles.

Talking about the same, I have jot down a few itsy-bitsy delights which add a range of vivid shades into my daily palettes –

  • A light foot massage with calming face mask
  • Maggi and an old good favourite movie. Nostalgia!
  • A relaxed and sensual meal (with good food!) with my partner
  • Having dollops of my favourite sinful chocolate without any guilt
  • Non judgemental, casual and upbeat conversations with close friend
  • When someone unexpectedly appreciates me. Unforeseen compliments! Wow!
  • Long nail art and makeup sessions with myself. Ooh la la!
  • Genuinely making others smile. What a pleasure!
  • Singing and dancing freely without any hesitation. How I love this !
  • Laughing out loud with my dear bunch! What a carefree atmosphere!

And I realized one thing. It was not about spending money, acquiring fame or popularity which gave us pure delight. It is all about how they leave deep impressions in our lives to yearn more of these!

Well, I am no where ignoring the big aspirations I look forward to, I would love to experience loads and loads of tiny mini pleasures everyday to jazz up!

This was my list! How about you? How about your simple delights ?

Pure Delights in your Palette!

What do you want in 2018? This was the simplest question asked on a social group on Facebook in January. I find January the most exciting month of the year as many of us are high on new starts, new energy, practical and unrealistic resolutions, and yes End of Sale too! Entwined in this cheery fervour, I read a wide array of responses to this question. There were varied replies like –

  • Ah! What about a holiday in Bahamas?
  • Ooohh! That lovely MK Bag I was yearning for last few weeks!
  • A romantic date with my boyfriend at Eiffel Tower. Wow!
  • My kids to be super achievers
  • Aladdin Genie! What say! End to all problems
  • Ticket to Australia or Maldives
  • A Magic Wand
  • A Brand New IPhone
  • A new car and yes a driving license

Well, apart from these, there were conventional responses like health, happiness, love, laughter, good vibes etc etc etc.

Yes, every wish, fantasy and desire was Bang On to add a dash of vibrant hues in our lives. Come On, who wouldn’t love to get a new car, phone or bag? Who would say no to a holiday? Who wouldn’t fancy a genie? The responses kept me thinking what I actually want in 2018. I was thinking of ‘A Dream Job’, ‘A fine body figure’, ‘A Happy House’ and obviously perfect health and love to all my dear and near ones.

While I was about to respond, another disparate thought fluttered in my mind. As I was thinking of big ambitions, goals, aspirations or whatever we call, I was comprehending on simple delights which we experience quite frequently but don’t realise how easily they add pleasant layers to our lives. Yes, as our big ambitions are definitely wished, required and hoped to add new dimensions and glam up our world, how about those mini dose of happy pockets we experience? They are equally influential and meaningful to pep up our routine, add a little imaginations and leave deep smiles.

Talking about the same, I have jot down a few itsy-bitsy delights which add a range of vivid shades into my daily palettes –

  • A light foot massage with calming face mask
  • Maggi and an old good favourite movie. Nostalgia!
  • A relaxed and sensual meal (with good food!) with my partner
  • Having dollops of my favourite sinful chocolate without any guilt
  • Non judgemental, casual and upbeat conversations with close friend
  • When someone unexpectedly appreciates me. Unforeseen compliments! Wow!
  • Long nail art and makeup sessions with myself. Ooh la la!
  • Genuinely making others smile. What a pleasure!
  • Singing and dancing freely without any hesitation. How I love this !
  • Laughing out loud with my dear bunch! What a carefree atmosphere!

And I realized one thing. It was not about spending money, acquiring fame or popularity which gave us pure delight. It is all about how they leave deep impressions in our lives to yearn more of these!

Well, I am no where ignoring the big aspirations I look forward to, I would love to experience loads and loads of tiny mini pleasures everyday to jazz up!

This was my list! How about you? How about your simple delights ?

I Wander Why!

I am somewhere these days! My interest in this synthetic world is fleeing in void.  My inclination floats every second and my restless mind is always in search for something. I do try to focus in the present moment but my thoughts flutter from every corner to an unreachable extent. I am definitely not in this world, not even in my world. I am living somewhere. My psyche travels to different spheres aiming to experience realms of imaginary contentment. And I don’t know why?

Lost in the humdrum of activities, I wonder where my undefined explorations are leading me to. What am I looking for? Am I waiting for that flower to blossom or I just want to stay fine by enjoying the smell of fresh grass? Do I want rains or do I want to glow in the sunshine? Do I want to work myself to be attractive or whip myself in solitude?  Do I want to dance in high spirits or hide my insecurities from the maddening crowd?  What is it? What do I want? What to do? I am still figuring it out.
Nothing excites me, I am in the hunt of something new, unexplored and raw. I feel to reach those horizons where there is relatively unrefined emotions. That world, where you are far from judgments, inhibitions and apprehensions. Actually, for past many days, I feel that world is just over occupied, overwhelmed and over enthusiastic with the artificial environment. Everything looks camouflaged and is rumbled up in fabricated territory. My mind is scouting something which is natural, untouched but not less than ordinary. Something original, earthy and real.
My explorations have started and in the course of my journey, I am eager solve those blocks which are disturbing my views to know my own conflicts, ideas and unknown visions…
The Odyssey is on… I am waiting to tour those routes… And waiting to pen those roads…