Everyone is different. Why do we judge all the time?

So, the autumn is here and London has bid a long bye to the sunshine. While we have brushed away those cottons, sunny colours and pastel patterns, it’s the time to enjoy those cold nights, short days and hot food. Commenting on the weather, one of my friends posted on FB, ‘Finally the long summer has gone! 30 degrees! Sunstrokes! Bad Tan! Arghh! Bye Summer, hope to see you pretty late next year!’ Among many comments on the post; one comment from an Indian friend caught my attention – ‘’Oh really! 30 degrees is too hot for you! You are so fragile honey! I live in India, and we are so comfortable in this tropical climate even at 45 degrees, and not just for the one day but the entire season. Get a life and don’t be so flimsy.’’

As usual, the arguments began and there was no end to the long conversions. I read them through and ignored it but after a while, when I was out and experiencing the crisp and cold air, I started thinking about the entire episode again. That friend has never been to London and he has no idea about how UK climate works. He has no clue about  winters being extremely chilly than any tropical country. He doesn’t know that experiencing frosty climate is a normal routine which is actually a big deal in his country.

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So? Basically he commented on something which is not his territory. He was being too condemnatory about people fainting over 34 degrees in UK. Honestly, was his judgement right, fair and true? When my mind reacted to this, I remembered about my co-worker gossiping about my friend (above 50) how careless, uninterrupted and extremely social she is. Being a gym fanatic, she is the fittest, slimmest and yummiest among us. Commenting on her stay free life she started blathering about her lifestyle, her attitude and her insensitive approach towards life. Why? Was my friend jealous? Was she being too judgemental without knowing the reality? Or was she actually bitter by nature?

Sadly, she didn’t know that my colleague had a miscarriage 25 years ago and failed to bare children there after! To overcome her depression, pain and misery in life, she actively started concentrating her life in other areas – socialising, fitness, travelling and so on just to forget or ignore that bad phase! When my friend confronted the fact, obviously she realised her own insolence and regretted her attitude.

So, basically, judging people without knowing what the actual situation is so unwarranted! Honestly, you and I would not have complete idea of what is happening in one’s life.

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So, end of the article now? Enough of thoughts, knowledge and understanding on the subject!

Perhaps, you would be thinking how reasonable I am about umpiring circumstances and society. But no, I have honestly learnt so much because of my own experiences. Not that I am purely non judgemental or I am not bothered about others’ lives, my thoughts changed after observing my wrong judgements and how hastily I judged people.

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In my last organisation, I met a colleague who was extremely loud, impatient and brash. Honestly, I never liked him nor I wanted to work with him. As always, I ignored him as much as I could. But then, I had to share a project with him for 6 months. While working with him, I started knowing him better, understanding his views and considering his approach. And I proudly say that I was so wrong! I was too soon to judge him based on his outward behaviour, but as I mingled with him on a regular basis, I got to know how fair-minded, outspoken and original he is. He may be a little hard to understand initially but he lives on his principles and is much more real than those people who were ‘Oh, I am so good’ masks all the time.

He has taught me so much about life. Everyone has a story, you can’t know a person by just reading a single page! Generally, we get into conclusion quickly without analysing much about the entire situation. As human beings, it is so natural to scrutinise, question and be very subjective on given times. But we forget that the circumstances are not equal for everyone. Everyone has their own state of affairs, thoughts and opinions!  Whatever it is, I think so we should give us and the other person good amount of time, space and value to come out and parade its true nature! That reality to accept the situation will be easy to comprehend, realize and understand than being so critical about it!

And then, the world and its nature will be a better place to love, smile and live.

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